Please Don't Cry

 Nothing breaks my heart,

Like hearing  you cry.

Who can hurt such a precious one?

When Karma comes back around, she won't even sigh.

May your soul be happy,

And your love light up the sky.

May no one ever hinder that beautiful spirit,

Please, please, please don't cry.

I believe in you, believe in yourself.

You are stronger than you can imagine.

Hold back the tears, please don't cry.

Something good is going to happen. 

Crazy

You are so perfect in my eyes, while I am so flawed.
You possess such a quiet intellect, while I stand in awe.
You are so generous and sweet and kind,
I must be crazy to leave you behind.

You are so sound, stable and self-composed.
Your thinking so deep, to me those doors are closed.
So virtuous, have I lost my mind?
I must be crazy to leave you behind.

Your life is the normal one, while I must be ill-adjusted.
The truth finally comes out, I am busted.
I will probably be ridiculed and maligned,
I must be crazy to leave you behind.

Nearer, Still Nearer

https://youtu.be/dJhDcNKr1g4
Lyrics:
1. Nearer, still nearer, close to Thy heart,
Draw me, my Savior—so precious Thou art!
Fold me, oh, fold me close to Thy breast;
Shelter me safe in that “haven of rest”;
Shelter me safe in that “haven of rest.”
2. Nearer, still nearer, nothing I bring,
Naught as an off’ring to Jesus, my King;
Only my sinful, now contrite heart,
Grant me the cleansing Thy blood doth impart;
Grant me the cleansing Thy blood doth impart
3. Nearer, still nearer, while life shall last,
Till safe in glory my anchor is cast;
Through endless ages ever to be
Nearer, my Savior, still nearer to Thee;
Nearer, my Savior, still nearer to Thee!

We must draw nearer.

 James tells us, “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded” (James 4:7-8). Step one is to submit to God and to His Word.

 “The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit”(Psalm 43:18). We can’t get any nearer to God than when we are broken. Interestingly, we are nearer to God when we are at our lowest point in life. In an ironic way, the way up is the way down, with humility and brokenness and being crushed in spirit.

Minister to others.   When we are helping the least of the world, we are doing it for Christ Himself (Matthew 25:40). (And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.)   This might include visiting the sick, helping those who have little or nothing, and being hospitable to strangers (Matthew 25:35-36), for we are also strangers or sojourners on a pilgrimage to the Promised Land. Doing for others is really doing for Christ.

 “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you”(1 Thessalonians 5:16-18). To draw nearer to God, you must be in more communication with Him, which begins and ends with prayer.

  “Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing”(John 15:4-5). We can’t do anything apart from Christ.  Abide in His Word. Pray. Love one Another.  We do that and we will, each day, be nearer and nearer. 

The Miracle of Birth

The power to create is one of the most divine attributes which man possesses. A man and woman unite in an act of love. And then the work of an angel begins. Over a period of time, the angel creates a work of unmatched beauty, beauty beyond description, a new child, a child of God. This child of God emerges from the womb with a shining halo of glory, revealing his or her immortal loveliness. This little miracle is the full expression of beauty, love and tenderness. The child is surrounded by the glory of divinity. This is the closest you will ever come in this world to seeing the beauty and purity of God himself, a perfect purity.

I think George Strait said it best, when he sang “I saw God today.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q06AvQF5NOw

Mark of the Beast

A tattooed number, a computer chip under the skin, or something subtler? It’s one of the most misinterpreted prophecies in all of the Bible—yet it is vitally important to understand it.

The final battle between Satan and God is just ahead, and it is described in the book of Revelation.  This prophetic book points out that God has an emblem, a mark, that will identify His people. Satan also has an emblem, a mark, that will identify those who support him.

In the simplest of terms, those who decide to follow the false teachings of the Beast (Satan) will receive his mark. Those who follow Jesus and obey His truth receive His mark.  It is comparable to having your name recorded in the Book of Life. 

It is not literal.  Following Jesus is important and will be recognized. God will know those that are His. Belonging to Jesus or the Beast is not to be confused by having a number assigned to us by a government, whether a Social Security number which we all already have, or a DL number, or some other number assigned in the future.   Advancements in technologies, like bar codes periodically trigger "mark of the beast" concerns for those who take seriously the prophecy.    While I am not  worried by how the government chooses to identify me, I believe it certainly is a slippery slope.  I think we should be cautious about allowing that measure of control or surveillance into our lives. 

Each person must know God for themselves. If we don’t know God ourselves, we will not have the power to resist Satan’s temptations. It is only when we hide God’s Word in our heart that we will have the ability not to sin against God. We can not depend on others. No one else will be able to save us. Those who have chosen to obey God fully are those closely connected with God. When we do, we are His. He knows us.

“If anyone has an ear to hear, let him hear.” This is a clue from the Book of Revelation that what is to follow is very important. If we be led into captivity, we will go into captivity. It is important that we are to completely trust in the Lord. We must stand strong against Satan with patience and faith. How do we win the battle?   “And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony.” We must not go against God and His instructions. That is how to overcome Satan.

Revelation is confusing and hard to understand. But, to me, it just tells us that the battle against Satan is real, and Satan seeks to steal you and to capture you. “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.” “Abstain from all appearance of evil.” We must know the Bible so that we can tell truth from error. Keep God’s word in our heart.  Those with the mark of the Beast are those who have placed themselves in opposition to God.

How much does it cost?

This is probably the most common question we ask.  How much does it cost?  Can we afford it?  A free concert in the park, you say?  Oh yeah, I am in.  But $250 a ticket?  I don't know about that.

Steak or  hot dogs?  Sometimes we can't afford the steak. 

The bible says, "For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."

I can tell what you really care about by what you spend your money on.  To some people, the car they drive is important.  Or the shoes they wear, that is real important. Where the money goes shows where your heart is.

When the money is short or scarce, you are forced into choices.I read often of the elderly having to choose between food or medicine? Toys or school supplies?  Sometimes you do without so your kids have what they need.  Who among us hasn't had to make tough choices like this?

I have been dead broke, with no job and no income.  I have had low paying jobs where I had to be so careful with every dollar.  And I have had successful times where I had all the bills paid and extra to spare.  And through the course of all my experiences I have learned where my heart is.

I can do without expensive meals.  I can eat pretty cheap, when I have to.I need a place to sleep.  I don't want to be homeless.  I need a roof and a bed.  And somewhere safe, I don't want to be in danger. I need to get to work, so I just need something reliable to drive.And I want my family to be provided for.  I need enough to meet their basic needs and wants.

So that is where my heart is.  My family is my treasure, and that is where my money goes, to provide for them.  If I ever have any extra, it is only spent to make them feel special.  I want them all to feel as special and loved as they are to me.   I have been guilty of spending money I don't have.  But when I do it is for them.  

Beyond that, my treasure is in Heaven, and I want to please the Lord.  I want to help the needy.  I want to give to the poor.  I do that all the time.

I see people all the time who never stopped to ask, "what does it cost?"  I see parents who never bothered to ask what was the cost to their kids, as they worked excessive hours at their career. I see famous people who never worried about the cost of fame.  

The Bible says, "What shall a man be profited if he gain the whole world, and lose his soul."
We make the bed we lie in.  We have to live with our choices.  Let's be smart and and consider the question, How much does it cost?

Starting Over

The new session is underway in my APA pool league. It runs now through the end of the year.

The last session ended up disappointing for us. In 9 ball we were in 1st place with 3 weeks to go. Those last 3 weeks we lost all 3, and lost the session, in that we fell out of the playoffs. In 8 ball we ended up in 2nd place, missing 1st place by only 3 points. One 3-0 win away from winning it all. We played against the wild card team in the playoffs, and came up short, we lost. Not fun. So close.

But we press forward, and try again. We start over. I know, that if you keep on long enough, you will eventually get to experience the thrill of victory. And it will be so deep, and wide, and life-changing, that you will forget the losses and the long journey completed. They won’t even matter anymore. Because winning the championship will re-set your eyes, it will reshape your beliefs on how amazing the experience can be, but you have to keep playing, keep trying, keep learning.

You can feel it when you are on. The stroke is smooth and almost natural. You see the shot and it happens the way it is supposed to. You make the shot, you get the leave, and you do it again. It doesn’t get any better. Except when your teammates do it too and everyone is playing good at the same time. That is an experience. We love to see each other succeed. We all want something that is bigger than ourselves. I love to win myself. But I love us winning together as a team more. And I love to be around my teammates, that through our ups and downs week to week, have become friends. I choose good people to start with. I get to hang out with good people each week. But they are also gladiators. Their heart is full of fight. They play to win. They never give up.

Put it all together, a team of friends, giving it their best, securing a win, advancing from one playoff to another, and finally winning it all, well, all I can say is it is worth it. So much fun. It is like driving to the Grand Canyon. It takes forever to get there. But once you arrive, the experience is so awesome, it takes your breath away. If you have ever studied the word “amazing”, it is truly amazing (causing astonishment, great wonder). The destination is so great, all the hardship of the journey is forgotten.  It is worth it. I hope you get to experience it. And if you are with me I hope we get to experience it together. We will need some luck. A good roll here and there helps.

But life is all about starting over. We all know about it. We have been there, right? A divorce happens. You start over. You get let go from a job. You start over. You get sick or hurt. You have to start over sometimes. During all the times I have had to start over, I was reminded of the importance of life. You learn, or re-learn, a reverence for life. It will reshape you to fully live, love and matter. I have started over several times.  And it changed me, each time, to think deeper about how I show up in the world, how I treat others, and what it is I want to contribute to those in my world. It is scary. The doubt, the worry and the uncertainty is real. The hardship is real. Those full stop second chances in life end up being monumental breakthroughs in your life. In the end, it helps you. You will come out on the other end. There will be building blocks. When it is time to start over, be more intentional, courageous and appreciative. You don’t have to know the full path to take the first step. Take a small step. And then another. I know, I still remember re-learning to walk. It is hard. You are not going to enjoy starting over, but you can honor the struggle. But you have to start somewhere. You may not yet have confidence, but just go. Start. Take the first step. Believe in yourself and in your ability to figure things out. Believe in God. That is what carries me. I believe in Him and His love for me. It can get you through the darkest night. Take it from someone who knows a thing or two about starting over.

So if you are starting over in life, or just starting over with me in pool, let’s go. Let’s do this.

Man's Best Friend

Goodbye my friend. I know why they call you “a man’s best friend.”
You were all that characterizes God himself.

Warm hearted, tender and forgiving -  Playful, gentle and boldly protective.
With one lick in the face I could forget all the ugliness of the day.
You lived in the moment. You experienced each day with the maximum zest for life.
And yet you reminded me to keep it simple.
You had adorableness without airs & lion-heartedness without cruelty.
You seemed to understand what I did not say.
Your love was genuine, never fake.
Without any words you were able to express your unconditional love.  I wish I was more like you.

I love how you would run to greet me when I came home.
I love how you would get back up after falling and just shake it off and forget it.
I love how you would sniff out opportunities and make your own fun.
I love how you would protect me when I was sleeping, like I was important.

Our time together seemed so short. Now I know. Now I know  how much God loves me. He showed me through you. Thank you, Lord, for showing me your love for me. I feel loved. I am loved.

Hey Jude

This article is about the day Axel Jude Elliott was born, August 4, 2017.

It has been a long month leading up to this day.  What a month for everyone involved.  We will never forget July 2017.  I want a t-shirt. The weather has been HOT HOT HOT here in Dallas, TX.  It has been pretty spicy in the mom Audrey’s Medical City Hospital room 776, as she has been on bed rest since early July, July 5^th.   It is hard to lay there and do nothing for so long.  It sounds so easy, but the days are so long it becomes like torture. Audrey has been able to stay up-to-date on all her phone activities, I guess.  She has enjoyed her cravings, - donuts, Starbucks and Schlotzshy’s, - when she gets a special delivery.  But this day has been a long time coming and we hope she still has some hair left and it hasn’t all been pulled out.  It was not easy, to say the least.  The theme for the month was “Nope, Not Today.”  The baby needed to stay inside for as long as possible, so everyone kept encouraging the baby to stay put and continue growing and developing. “No, not yet,”   “No, not Today” was the day to day message. Mom was to rest, baby was to stay put.  Here is the shirt Michelle wore up to the hospital.

Dad has been busy preparing the house for the baby’s arrival.  Much was done in the way of cleaning and organizing and preparing the house for a brand-new baby boy.  And when I say much, I mean, a major overall.  It was a monumental task that Dad took on.  And delivered.  Good job ProZac.  

And then they got a new carriage (a lovely van) to transport the baby in (and the rest of the family, the boys), only to have a minor (or maybe major)  breakdown requiring attention to get it running again.  Baby has got to have a new ride, right?  Just another thing to deal with leading up to this big day. Just what they did not need.

Mimi planned a big shower, only to have it cancelled at the last minute, when Audrey was put in the hospital.  All that will be rescheduled.  

Then Jenna has surgery on her neck, on the 19th, and sends Levi to stay with us allowing her, Jenna, some time to heal and recover. Hers is life in a neck brace, one that looks something like this.

So, Mimi had her hands full too, this past month.  Mimi has a lot of daily health issues, most never see, and it has been trying at times to baby-sit a 4-year-old and cope with daily health issues.  Have you ever been in real pain and try to sleep?  This is her problem almost every night. She can’t sleep due to her pain she is feeling.  She spends most of the night trying to get the pain to subside, then by morning she is ready to sleep, but then there is a little boy needing her attention and she has to try to suffer through the day with no sleep. But her love for her grand-children saw her through.  I don't know how. I don't know.

  She has had very limited time to visit Audrey this past month. She so wanted to do more, but she just couldn’t. You will have to see the creative things Mimi kept sending Audrey to entertain her.

When Audrey first went into the hospital she was worried about missing work and money and bills.  So she had the Repo Man visit her, to let her know the Repo Man was not going to repo Axel.

There was Kichelle Karkashian.  

There was the  Dr. Mutha Fooker movie.

There was the drunk fairy god mother.

There was the big red nose.

Then she finally revealed the real reason she wasn't able to visit was that she was vacationing in Paradise. 

There was the hand puppet movie.

She made the baby hands movie.

And then finally there was the Pirate movie starring her and Levi.

But the preparation time came to an end, and the big day arrived.  He is here, “Hey Jude” Elliott. (my nickname, cause I like it) “Hey Jude” arrived into this world, gloriously beautiful, just as expected.  Audrey’s first baby, Zac's third, was born today, August 4th, 2017 at 08:06 a.m.

We thought for a while his birthday might me August 2^nd, making him a 3^rd generation family member born that day, but that also didn’t work out as hoped.  It seems to be a theme here of plans changing. It was put off till today, making August 4^th  the big day.  He shares his birthday with Actor Billy Bob Thornton (1955) and also the 44^th President of the United States, (1961) Pres.  Obama., baseball great Roger Clemens (1962) and NASCAR greats Jeff Gordon (1971) and Kurt Busch (1978).

 The headline news today revolved around the Dallas Cowboys preseason opener in the Hall of Fame Game (Cowboys Owner Jerry Jones inducted into the Hall of Fame this week), where they won over the St Louis Cardinals 20-18 last night . Even bigger than that was the fabulous Dream Team 8 ball win, last night, winning the playoffs in a 4 game decision, 8-3.

All that may be noteworthy, but the real news for this day is that Axel Jude Elliott arrived, 7 lbs, 13 oz’s, 21 inches of joy, and mom and baby are all well.  Congratulation Audrey and Zac.  Congratulation Eathen and Miccah.  Congratulations Mimi.  Congratulations to Grandparents on both sides. Congratulations to all family everywhere celebrating this day.  It is a big day.  I know a lot of people are happy today, but none of you are happier than me. And to top it all off, he is beautiful, a beautiful baby.  Not sure but he may get that from his RiRi.

What a month, but I am so proud Audrey, of you, and for you.  May Axel (“Hey Jude”) enjoy the love and pampering he has coming his way, but mostly, may he be taught and nurtured into a fine man. Blessings and prayers for Axel.

So let it out and let it in,

Hey Jude, begin

You’re waiting for someone to perform with

And don’t you know that it’s just you,

Hey, Jude, you’ll do

The movement you need is on your shoulder.

Nah, nah nah nah, Nah nah nah nah, Nah nah nah nah, Hey Jude

With Love, Ric  (aka RiRi)

Thanksgiving

On this Thanksgiving Day, 2016, We, Michelle and I,  wish to say that we are honored to have you in our life.  Thanks for loving and caring for us. Thank you for touching our lives in ways you may never know. Our riches do not lie in material wealth, but in having  a friend like you. Your friendship is a precious gift from God.

Blessings to all that have overcome illness this year.  A special thank you to all that have participated in my healing process this year. Each healing touch and act of kindness will always be remembered fondly.

Blessings to all who have had babies (or like us, grandbabies) this year.  They truly are a miracle and blessing from God. RiRi and Mimi sure feel blessed this year. (did you hear about the new addition this week? - Happy first thanksgiving to Charley Rae Justiss, daughter to Steele Justiss.  And it is also Nicolas’ first Thanksgiving, Adam and Jei’s son.)

Happy Thanksgiving to all, may our blessings and God’s watchful eye over us continue, and may we always give thanks for His love for us.

The Dream Team Statement of Values

I have been on a journey to identify the core values that drive The Dream Team - a set of values that speak to who we are and that define what is important to us.  The following is The Dream Team Statement of Values.

RAISING THE BAR

We attract, develop and recognize exceptional people. You were selected because of your excellence in character.  Being on our roster is a testament to the kind of person you are, one defined by a good name, high principles and the best of intentions. 

GO FOR IT

We think independently, play our own game, take measured risk and play to win. We draw upon the competitive spirit at our core to inspire us and define what's possible.

BELIEVE IN SOMETHING

We take ownership, act with integrity, and follow through on promises. Even when it's hard, we do the right thing. 

We learn the league rules and play by them, we call fouls on ourselves and don't cheat our opponent or try to take advantage.  If we win, we win fair and square. 

When we join the team we agree to show up and be on time.  If life gets in the way and we can't make it (as it will from  time to time), we make sure our teammates know that we will be out and have to miss.  This is the way we show our respect to our team, our teammates and friends.  With relationship comes responsibility.

GROWTH

We invest in our players for the long term.  We generously give of our time and talent to help our teammates learn the game and be supportive of their desire to be a better pool player.   We celebrate each rise in skill level.

BETTER TOGETHER

We build enduring relationships be earning trust and respect.  We lean on each other.  We are a team, and we win together or fall together.  "We can survive the most difficult of circumstances if we are not forced to stand alone."

This is and exciting time for The Dream Team.  Ours is a team of a long standing 12 year tradition and together we can continue our ways to maintain and un-disputable reputation for excellence, achievement, integrity, value and respect. Thank you for your part in making this a reality.

Ric

I know this much.

I know that I know nothing.

What Would Dad Do?

 Now I love my mom and for countless reasons, including her ceaseless positive energy.  She has had plenty of health issues lately but you sure wouldn’t know it to talk to her.  No matter what is going on with her she radiates with a happy positive disposition and I love that about her.  She has unconditional love for, not just me, but her family, all of us.  She has such a contagious laugh and smile.  If the reasons I love her aren’t testament enough to how wonderful she is, I know I have the best mom because all my friends get excited when they learn they are going to get to visit with her or see her soon.  Or when others are always asking me how she is doing.  My mom, MamaG, is the kind of woman who makes people feel so loved and accepted.  She includes everyone and can turn life into a party.  Her glass is always half full, her home is always open. She is a legend in her hometown.  You would be blessed to meet her. I love my momma.  I hope I grow up to be as generous with my life and spirit as she is with hers.

I mention this because I can’t talk about my dad without talking about her.  They go together.  Like salt and pepper.  You can’t even think of one without thinking of the other. 

And likewise, you can’t talk about Gaylon and Ginger without mentioning us 3 kids, Ricky (yours truly), Gina and Andy.

Our family is what we are due to my dad.  He set the atmosphere. He set the tone.  He provided the guidance.  He was the teacher.  He molded us.  All of us can say we are what we are because of him.

In the scriptures we read of a character that was described as “a man after God’s own heart.”  That is my dad.  He loves everyone.  He forgives everyone, always.  He is kind.  He is generous.  He cares, about you and your life. He loves God and knows God’s word. He always has the wise prescription for the situation.

I know he is not perfect.  If I dug deep enough I might find a flaw.  No one is perfect.  But when I was younger I would see these signs and tshirts, “What would Jesus do?”   But I always had a great example to follow right there in my immediate family.  All I had to do was ask, “What Would Dad Do?”

If I was mad at someone, I was taught to not hold a grudge.  When I was busy, I learned to put others first. When things would get hectic, I learned to stay calm. I learned how to take care of things.  I learned to take care of my car, to mow the grass, and keep a tidy house. But from these simple things I learned the bigger things, like taking care of my family.  He always did. He kept a pulse on everyone and what was going on with them.  Every-time, without fail, when something “big” happened with me, he was there, either to celebrate, console, advise or whatever the occasion called for.

But it wasn’t just his family he took care of.  He is the most respected man I know.  I said my mom was a legend in her hometown.  So is he.  He has helped more people than anyone.  If you were in the hospital, he visited you.  If you were down he was there to lift you up.  If you had a big win of some sort in life, no one was happier for you. He came into your life, not heavy handed, but in a gentle calming manner that would put you at ease.  That is the kind of person I have hoped to be.  Whenever I had a decision to make all I ever had to ask myself was, “What Would Dad Do?”  Everyday I live, I thank God for him and my mom. I know my brother and sister will give a big Amen to that.  And the in-laws. And the grandchildren.  And everyone who has known them and been loved by them. Happy Father’s Day dad. You have all of our respect, the old fashioned way, you have earned it.

 You may have heard me comment before about my blessed life.  I recognize it.  I constantly give thanks for it.  God watches over me like I am his prized possession.  He protects me. He provides for me. Many times it has been so amazing I can only drop to my knees in humble gratitude and praise when God moves people and situations such that I become the beneficiary.  The greatest example of this, and there are so many I could write a book, is this man I have been speaking of.  My biological dad died early in life.  He died the same year I was born. He died in April and I was born in August.  My dad, Papa G to many, Gaylon to most, dad to me, came along 2 years later and married my mom.  In the beginning it was just me and mom, against the world. It wasn’t easy (that is another story) but she somehow managed. She could have married anyone. Or no one.  But I see God’s hand all over this. He had the man for the job.  Hand picked by God, to be my dad. He married my mom. He raised me.  He loved me unconditionally.  And still does. He taught me his profession, and he was and still is the very best preacher alive.  People often comment about my gift with words, but it is all because of him.  He taught me public speaking, writing, all of it.  I am nothing without him.  God knew the kind of man he was.  And God wanted me to be raised by that man. God wanted me to do something, or be something for someone and he wanted to prepare me by having me raised by “a man after his own heart.”  I have listened.  I have learned all that I could. I am ready for whatever life throws at me.  And whatever is still to come, I know I will only have to ask one question, “What Would Dad Do?”

Thankfully he is still here and all I have to do today is pick up the phone or make a short drive into East Texas. God has blessed him with a long life.  No one is the beneficiary of that more than me.  Unless it is  maybe my mom, my brother and my sister. And the in-laws and grandchildren. We all have been blessed.  Truly blessed. I know he has touched the lives of so many, but none more than me.  Again, Happy Father’s Day to best dad ever.  I love you dad.

The Day Nicolas was Born

It is March 22, Tuesday, and I woke up to learn the mom (daughter in law) was in labor, as of 4 a.m.  We are expecting a warm 75 degree spring day.  Brussels Belgium was the mark of the terrorists today as bombs were set off around that town early this morning, capturing the attention of the news anchors on TV.  The President is visiting Cuba, the first for a President in our lifetime, as Cuba has long been a place we did not have any dealings with. But all of these things will be long forgotten and this day will soon only be remembered as the day Mimi’s 3^rd grandchild was born, born to Adam  and Jei, named Nicolas.  He was born at 11:20 a.m., 7 lbs 9 ozs and 21 in’s long.  He will be great.  No doubt.  At least in our eyes.

No drug can match the euphoric rush of pleasure and relief at knowing both mother and baby are well; the intense wave of love that sweeps over you for the newborn baby boy.  The first time you hold that grand baby  in your arms and call yourself grand mother or grand father, Mimi or RiRi, an awareness floods over you that life will never be the same again. Another human being is now dependent upon you. More than anything else, you want to be the best grandparent possible. You want to be healthy, live long, and enjoy watching him grow up. All of these sort of things come to mind.

The best kept secret in the world is the joy of having a baby.  I like to call it “the best day ever.”  It is only surpassed by the joy of having a grand baby. The love and laughter the child brings into your life is immeasurable. Your life seems to have renewed purpose and meaning. One of the great moments of your life is when you see the baby’s face for the first time. It is just the greatest feeling.

May God Bless Nicolas Julian Wise with untold blessings and may God be pleased with the man be becomes.  Happy Birthday Nicolas.

A Better Cause

Some are so thrilled with the recent same-sex marriage decision coming down from the Supreme Court, while others think the court’s ruling is so bad, such a violation of God’s law.  I can’t get worked up about this.  I have never believed that morality should be legislated.  Some religious groups I am aware of have long tried to bring about legislation that supports their religious beliefs regarding right or wrong.

Many are protesting, loudly and publicly, on religious grounds.  But God has spoken on other issues and I can’t help but notice when those other issues don’t seem to be that important to the protesters.  Do they care about God’s word as it concerns cheating on your spouse, or honesty, or lying, or stealing?

There are so many things that define the type of people God wants us to be, but none better that that described in Matthew 25. While I don’t believe Matthew 25 is exhaustive in its presentation of what matters to God, here we do get a glimpse of the kinds of people who are living a life pleasing to our Lord. Here we find a picture of followers of Jesus who care and do what they can for the poor. In this passage I see Jesus pointing us toward the issues that pertain to the most basic aspects of human dignity: food, shelter, clothing, justice, and sickness:

“For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat,

I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink,

I was a stranger and you invited me in, 

I needed clothes and you clothed me, 

I was sick and you looked after me,

I was in prison and you came to visit me.”

We can disagree all day about same sex marriage. Heck, the majority will most likely continue to disagree about this issue for another 20 years. We can disagree over a million issues.  However, we will not disagree, there’s no denying that millions of people are suffering significantly, and Jesus wants us to focus our energies on serving them. If there was ever a group of people who should give a damn about people who have nothing, about good people suffering in prison, and about people fleeing unprecedented violence, it should be us. This is not politics.  It is not about Democrat vs. Republican.  This is personal.

If you want to have righteous indignation about anything, take a stand on this.  If you need a good reason, this poverty and homelessness is the leading cause of crime, human trafficking, rape, prostitution and child abuse. Partnering with groups that empower communities to meet these basic needs will go a long way in keeping potential victims safe, healthy, and in control of their own lives.  We have always had people with means, competent charities, and passionate workers who are more than willing to travel to the ends of the earth to fulfill the very words of Jesus. If we collectively gave these most basic causes just a fraction of the time and energy that we had devoted to fighting for or against same sex marriage, or some other cause, who knows how many lives could have been rescued.

We need not bemoan the “terrible” world that our grandchildren will inherit. For millions of people in our own neighborhoods, the worst has already happened and will continue to happen. Know this: God’s judgment has been upon us long before a single state allowed same sex marriage.  God’s judgment came upon us when we left people hungry, thirsty, sick, unclothed, and alone. God’s judgment came upon us when we saw the destitute and did nothing. If God is going to condemn us over anything in America, it’s going to be our indifference and inaction when it comes to feeding people, giving out clean water, offering shelter, visiting the sick, and helping the prisoners.  Love one another. That is the message.

I don’t care what the courts decide. On any issue.  All I have to do is examine my own life and try to live it in such a way that I believe God finds pleasing.  Not what you believe and not what the court rules. If we disagree on same sex marriage, ok.  All I have to do is decide for myself and live accordingly.  If I study God’s word and determine God doesn’t like same-sex marriage, then I should not bring that into my life.  If I study God’s word and find that love and loyalty is all that matters regardless of sex, then I can proceed with my life accordingly. It is an individual and personal decision.  It does not matter what the law of the country is. God requires obedience to Him.  God’s law is what matters.  The law in our country doesn’t change the call of Jesus for his followers, especially us, here and now. We aren’t called to fight against someone. We aren’t called to litigation.  We ARE called to care for those suffering in the most basic ways.  Let’s take our energy and resources and throw them into serving the people who are suffering the most.

We may even hear the words: “Well done, good and faithful servant,” one day. 

BS

"The dog ate my homework.”  It starts there.  And for some it never ends, story after story, year after year, making up stories and creating amazing improbabilities, in a desperate attempt not to be caught or to not have to reveal the truth.  And sometimes it works.  I may have my doubts but I hate to just come right out and call you a liar.



Some people just want to be seen as better than they see themselves. The secret truth is everyone has moments of weakness, times when fear and/or greed melt our brains and we’re tempted to say the lies we wish were true. And for that reason the deepest honesty is found in people willing to admit to their lies, or their barely resisted temptations, and own the consequences.



You know them and I do too, those whose jargon hide huge quantities of BS. Their story becomes so unreasonably inflated. Inflated language is a technique of intimidation and bullying. The bet is that if the story is big enough, you will not have enough to call them on it.  This is, of course, entirely BS. To withstand BS you have to have an inner core of self-reliance, holding on to your doubts longer than the BS’er holds onto their charade.



A good tool of BS detection is careful assignment of your trust. Never agree to more than your trust allows. Who cares how confident they are: the question is how confident are you in them? It’s rare that there isn’t time for trust to be earned. It’s not offensive to refuse to take someone’s word if they have no history of living up to it before.



And trust can be delegated. I don’t need to trust you, if you’ve earned the trust of people I trust. Nothing defuses BS faster than a collective of people that help each other detect BS. Great teams help each other call someone on their BS.  I have a big big weakness in this area as I expect people to always be truthful. I will give people the benefit of the doubt.  But eventually the truth comes out.  I feel so let down, disappointed, betrayed and double-crossed when I find out everything they were telling me was just BS.  It is people like this that make me appreciate the genuine people even more. 

Best Wife Ever

I wanted to write down some things here that I wanted to say to you, my darling wife. I just want you to know how much you mean to me.  In case I don't say it enough or show it enough, you should know the feelings in my heart for you.

First, I would do anything to be your everything. I love coming home to you.  I love knowing you are there waiting for me to get home.  I love that kiss when I see you and I love that kiss when I have to go to work in the morning.  Just this morning as I was leaving for work I woke you only to kiss you and say goodbye and you whispered back, I love you too.  That is everything I need to go out and face the day, the boss and the job.  I love how you appreciate that too and tell me so.  I know you give your very best for us, and I am proud to do the same.

I love your smile.  I love to see you happy.  I love it when we both find the same things funny.  We laugh and laugh.  It is one of the best parts of my day to see you smile.  Your smile is one of the things I love the most about you.  I love your eyes.  I can read them so well.  I don't even have to ask, I can see in your eyes when you are in pain and when you are feeling good.  I can see in your eyes when you are excited and when you are sad. Your eyes are the prettiest I have ever seen.

I fell in love with your courage so long ago.  You fight through more pain and struggles each day.  I see you fight through it, I see you try to hide it, and  I see you try to put your best foot forward each day and the courage it takes each day to do all of that is simply a lot.  You are awesome and I know it.  I know how brave you are.  Everyone else doesn't see it first hand but I do.  The battle is hard and I am amazed at your strength, bravery and courage to stand up to the fight day in and day out.

I appreciate your honesty and sincerity.  I love knowing how you are who you say you are.  People everywhere love you so much and I think that is probably the virtue people admire the most about you. I do love how everyone can see that about you. My heart rests comfortably each day knowing it trust safely in you.

I believe is us.  Things go bad sometime.  We have struggles like everyone else.  But there is no one else I would rather have by my side to fight against the world.  If it is us against the world, I am good with that.  I love the battles won together and the miracles we have been privileged with.

I love how you take up for the ones you love.  I see how you are always quick to step up and defend me or any of the kids.  Even if any of us do something stupid, you will find a way to defend us with an unrivaled passion to the world. Your love for us is our strength.

I love your patience and understanding.  You have grown in patience so much since we met.  I love how you talk to me and work with me even when you may be internally so frustrated.  You have grown so much in this area and if this was all I was considering, this alone might make you one of the most amazing people in the world.

I love your touch.  When you hold my hand, touch my face or hug me it renews my strength, it revives my spirit and lifts me up higher than the mountains. There is magic in your touch.  I love it so much.

I love how you love our home and all that you do to make it a wonderful home. And that is a lot.

You are my world.  I do it all for us. And I wanted you to know that.

I don't seek happiness.  I seek meaning.  Taking care of you and us is what gives my life meaning. I know life throws many things at us, collectively and individually, but I will be there you and for us, all the way, as long as you will have me.  I love you.  I love you Michelle for all that you are and all that you want to be. I look forward to growing old with you.

Turning 60

George Burns, who lived to 100, willed a nice slogan to hold on to: "You have to get older, but you don't have to get old."   

50 seems to be when one begins to think about aging (and when AARP gladly accepts your membership); 60 is when it moves into full gear. I have learned life is more like the changing seasons -  Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter. I think of 60 as being  in the Fall category.  There is a lot of time left, if things go good. And it is a good place to be.  The green of spring is beautiful, but so are the turning leaves of Fall.  Interestingly Fall has long been my favorite season, with cooler weather, football and the excitement surrounding upcoming holidays.  And I am looking forward to “life” in the Fall season.   

I look forward to making new friends, younger friends, and I will get to watch the younger generation tackle life’s hard questions.  And there can be a degree of enjoyment in offering words of wisdom to those who want to listen.  I will have a chance to break some bad habits, slow down, and try to do things right and not have to beat myself up for not being more disciplined.  And then there are grandkids.  These grandkids fill you up with love and joy.

The real joy of this Fall season... learning to be an optimist. I can look for solutions to challenges, push forward even when things don’t go well, even more so try to understand the power of gratitude.  I feel the pathway to having the best life possible is to embrace where you are at, own the moment, embrace it with gratitude, and look forward to the next step of the journey. 

So here I am at 60?  What have I learned so far?

1.  People who "hate getting old" are idiots. Every year is a privilege. Let me tell you- getting to 60 feels like a triumph. I have no idea how I made it this far, but I am very grateful.

2. Toxic relationships are not worth it. Period.

3. Friends are good. I suddenly delight in connecting with pals from my past, more so than ever before. Sure, I have wonderful friends, but there’s something uplifting, energizing, and meaningful about finding an old friend on Facebook, a friend who knew me when I was in my formative years. If you're not on Facebook, you're missing something.

4.  Romance and teamwork are still alive and well at 60.  Michelle and I can split a whole pie when we want to.  We can sleep late when we have no good reason to get up, or we can be up together before the crack of dawn when we have places to go and people to see. We have learned we are best as a team and we make a very good team.

5.  Control isn’t so important.  Yes, there have been many times I believed I knew the answer to almost everything. I didn’t just suggest solutions; I inserted myself into the solution. Many times I was exhausted, frustrated, and disappointed that no one seemed to appreciate my “help.”  But now, it is like a light bulb went on and I saw the light. Control does not equal happiness. The world operates just fine without my interference. The kids can actually problem solve without me. Teammates can shoot their own game, they don’t  have to do it the way I would. I now say, ”Thank you,” rather than, “Thank you, but….

6.  Just say it.  Take every opportunity to express love and gratitude.  Tell em how you feel. I’ve reached this milestone, so why wait to tell others how I feel? My favorite words: "I love you". And "Thank you".

7.  God is real, God loves us all, and God is faithful to keep every promise to us. Take it to the bank and draw close to God. Forgive people, it is God’s way. God’s way is the way of love. 

I've enjoyed every age I've been, and each has had its own individual merit. Every laugh line, every scar, is a badge I wear to show I've been present.  I look ahead with great enthusiasm if for no other reason than it is true, “I get better looking each day.”  I really do feel good, strong and healthy (except for the times I stand up from a chair and hear my knees crack.) Maybe the truth is this is just a rah-rah speech  to disguise the real truth that I am really standing of the precipice of decrepitude.  It’s easy to forget, amid the pleasures and terrors of everyday life, how it all goes by much too fast, even if you pay attention all the time, and who, really, manages to do that? Hardly anyone. 

I awoke to a throng of Facebook birthday greetings, from people who know me well and other friendly acquaintances. That is nice. Thank you all. Thank you each and every one. Thank you for your friendship and for your love.  And most of all Thank You to my beautiful wife. I am certainly the luckiest man alive to have you by my side every day. I feel good today.

The Day Vivi was Born

  June 19, 2014 

Today it is a pleasant 85-90 degree day outside, a Thursday,  in a year where the summer has been slow to find it’s legs.  And that is fine with everyone around here.  But this day will never be remembered for the weather, or for the politics of the day, or for the win or loss from the pool games tonight, but today will be remembered because our loving God blessed us again with the wonderful entrance of Vivi into the world. We woke up to the news that the mom’s contractions were getting underway so, right away, we knew this was going to be a big day.

Grandkids are great.  Vivi is the 2^nd in our family.  Levi was 1^st and came into our world 1.5 years ago and what a joy it is to have him visit.  His little face lights up and that big smiles jumps out when Mimi walks into the room, and that is enough to move him to the top of the priority list in the life of Mimi.  But now Levi has a cousin. And Mimi has a 2^nd grandbaby.  I guarantee you Mimi will be able to spoil them equally and without partiality.  

The day Vivi was born was a day Mimi fell completely head over heels, and realized Vivi is a person who can make her heart swell by simply opening her eyes and by laying so peacefully in her arms. This is without doubt one of the holiest days of  our lives.  I cannot have a day with something as grand as this and not at the same time bow in submission to the greatness of God.  I am amazed, in the truest meaning of that word. Just the miracle of it all. And just when you don't think you can't love a grandchild any more, you look at them, in all their beauty noticing something new that you hadn’t noticed before, and the blood rushes to your head, and the stomach drops out, and you fall deeper.  Someday Mimi will tell her all about the day she was born and how she got to be there and how privileged she felt to be invited to share in such a glorious moment...she will tell her how she had to leave to run to BabiesRUs to pick up something for her and the new mommy and the car battery died and she had to have someone jump the  battery...she will tell her all about how frustrating that was because she was so anxious to get back to her...she will tell her about spending the evening with her and all the family and how they all came out to celebrate her birthday.....she will tell her all about the day she fell in love with her completely  from her nose to her tippy toes.

 This year we, Mimi and I, turn 57 and 60, respectfully.  We are trying to live healthier.  We see the way things are going and hope we will be able to be around a while to enjoy these awesome days of grand parenting.

These days are valued more as a grandparent, more so than those parenting days. Now, you see, we know how brief the time is, we know and have seen how time flies, and we know to enjoy the day and the moment and not worry about tomorrow.  We know all so well how they grow up into smart, funny and opinionated people who will move on and leave the parents for college, or an adventure, or a husband or wife.  That is coming so soon.  But today is ours to enjoy the greatest blessing God gives.  Thank you Lord for Vivi, thank you for the blessing, and thank you Lord for this beautiful day you gave us to enjoy. We now know where the expression “pride and joy” came from. This perfect and healthy little 7lb 2oz girl, born at 1:10 p.m. June 19th 2014, wholly loved, fearfully and wonderfully made, Viviana, born to Jei and Adam Wise, is sure to be another of Mimi’s “pride and joys.”  And RiRi might share some of that as well.

I'm Sorry

“I’m sorry.”  Some people won’t say it. When your actions cause someone harm, distress or significant inconvenience the right thing to do is to offer a sincere apology when you are made aware of the harm, distress or inconvenience you have caused. 

The experts now know the people with low self-esteem are less likely to apologize.  They usually feel bad, sometimes having inner feeling of humiliation,  about what they have done, furthering the feelings of low self-esteem.  But we also now know that the egocentric, the one with the overly grand view of himself or herself, also almost never offers an apology. 

People who are sure of themselves have the capacity to confess to their wrongdoing and properly address it.  Just the right amount of self-esteem is key. 

For these two groups,  saying I’m sorry equals acceptance of responsibility and expressions of genuine remorse. Here is the rub – apologizing is seen as a sign of weakness. Admitting to being wrong, as difficult as it is,  is the road to dissolving hostility, encouraging forgiveness and mending damaged relationships. It is also a road rarely traveled today.  Instead, relationships end and these people go on their way in life, alone. 

The movie got it wrong.  Love doesn’t mean never having to say you’re sorry.  Love means being able to say you’re sorry. 

What I see are some people who do not love, or love enough, to say I’m sorry, and try to make things right.  So sad.