I Want to Hold Your Hand

Why do couples continue to hold hands, even after many years of being together? In a word - Connection! In a better word - Love! Holding hands has long been thought of as a first romantic step between a couple. And it may be. But it is also the last step for the old-timers. On their last day, you will find them still, till the end, holding hands.

To hold someone’s hand is to offer them affection, protection and comfort. It is a way to communicate and tell them silently “I am here, with you.” Usually it suggests something innocuous and sweet about a couple and their relationship. In some instances, it takes on added potency being an act of respect, like a handshake.

But, over all, few things are more innocent than a child grabbing the hand of a parent, for protection, direction and connection. And with many children these days closer and more outwardly affectionate to their parents, chances are you have spotted a mother and her teenage daughter and perhaps even a father and his adolescent son ambling through a mall, scurrying through a crosswalk or strolling along, hand in hand.

Likely, it was your mother or father who first held your hand when you began taking baby steps. Having a parent hold your hand while you were out in the world made you feel safe, protected from any harm. Later, hand-holding was likely done in friendship with your friends or family. Hand-holding during the dating scene was a whole new experience that made your heart skip a beat or two. Holding hands is definitely a heart-connected activity! Adult children and their elderly parents also hold hands, for balance, support and as a sign of love.

As for romantic couples, the opinions about hand-holding are as varied as fingerprints. But most people agree that it has not lost favor. If they do hold hands, it is likely only after they are deep into a relationship — not in those early days of budding romance, when a touch of hands was the first act of intimacy between a couple. That was the hand-holding that the Beatles wrote about.
Today, holding hands has become more significant than other seemingly deeper expressions of love and romance. Reaching for someone’s hand these days has more potential for rejection than leaning in for a smooch at a party where alcohol is flowing.

Whatever degree of hand-holding may be happening, there are good reasons to cultivate the habit. When we get more physical intimacy we get better relationships, whether a mother and an infant or a couple. Studies have shown that monkeys hold hands in reconciliation after a fight. We have learned that hand-holding relaxes the body. Put someone in a M.R.I machine, or other stressful situations, where they might at first be tense and afraid, and they will relax and start to feel more secure if allowed to hold their spouses hand.

Perhaps it is why so many people crave it. Holding hands remains a sign of intimacy between friends and lovers, couples and family, keeping two people together as they navigate the world around them. It as powerful a gesture today as it ever has been.

Holding hands strengthens your marriage relationship, creating a comforting and calming atmosphere in your home. It builds more trust between the two of you, and deepens your intimacy with one another. Holding hands is like a hug, sometimes friendly and some times loving.

Personally, I hope it never goes out of style! When was it the last time you held your dear ones hands and said silently “I care for you, and I am here for you no matter what?”

Have a good one…Ric

It ain't over 'til the fat lady sings

It ain't over 'til the fat lady sings is a saying, essentially meaning that one shouldn't assume the outcome of some activity (frequently a sports game) until it has actually finished. It compares to "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched." I think I've heard somewhere, "The fight's not over till the last bell."

Never give up. Never, never, never give up.

The expression, “until the fat lady sings” gives us a sense of hope when we are behind or losing a contest.

And the contests in which we participate in life teach us valuable lessons about life itself. A particular car may lead the Nascar race the whole way, but have a wreck or lose a tire or run out of gas right at the end and lose the contest. Who would of thought Romo would fumble the extra point snap that would of won the game a couple of years ago? How many times have I seen my opponent miss an easy 8 ball shot? Remember Staubach’s now famous “hail Mary” pass? Though one may appear to be the obvious winner, it doesn’t always work out that way.

People get down on their luck, things don’t go the way they expected or hoped, but they keep working and doing their best, and then when they least expected it, something gives. Something happens and then there it is. Maybe after many tries, or many years, or many disappointments and lots of pep talks to yourself, it happens, and that for which you have been working, comes true. Graduating from college is one thing, but making use of that education is another. Sometimes it is the one who didn’t have the opportunity of a college education that finds the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

God has a purpose and a calling for us. It may not be clear yet what that purpose is. All of us seek those mountaintop experiences. We all want to be blessed. We sometimes feel we deserve God’s blessings. We feel life hasn’t been fair because someone else we know has blessings that we don’t have. But maybe, just maybe, we have to learn to be a blessing for someone else.

Listen to God’s word:Matt. 19:30 But many that are first shall be last; and the last shall be first.

Matt 20:16 So the last shall be first, and the first last: for many be called, but few chosen.

Jesus was traveling with his chosen 12 apostles and they began arguing among themselves about which of them was the greatest. Jesus said to them, (Mark 9: 30 -35) If any man desire to be first, the same shall be last of all, and servant of all.

Remember the story of Jesus insisting he wash the disciples feet and Peter refusing to let Jesus wash his feet. (John 13: 1-16) It was a time in which they could not conceive of washing each other’s feet. Foot washing was something reserved for the lowest of servants. They would argue about who was the greatest among themselves, an attitude that precluded them stooping to wash each other’s feet. But Jesus took a towel and washed his disciples feet. They were shocked. Jesus was trying to teach them a lesson about selfless service, a lesson followed up with his death on the cross.

Learning to be a blessing for others, is a hard lesson to learn. It goes against everything we have ever been taught. We are pushed to be the best, to be the winner, to be the top gun. “He who dies with the most toys wins,” I have heard it said. So much so that we feel like a big ole loser if we haven’t been able to keep up with the Jones or with our friends. We may not have the prestige, the money, or the status of someone else, but we just may have something much better. We have humility, we have compassion, we have patience.
Remember we are told, But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. James 1:4

The feet washing Jesus did for his disciples was at its root an act of love. Christ made it clear he would not expect anything of us he was not willing to do himself. We are to love each other. We are to love each other just as he has loved us. And being a blessing for others involves acts of love. It may mean lending a helping hand when needed, or just being there, or having the right words to say when they need to hear them. It may mean waiting on them, or lending money or having a strong shoulder for them to lean on. It could mean so many different things. But you will know it. You will recognize it. The love you have in your heart will lead you to what you need to do.

I remember Paul Simon sang, “one mans ceiling is another mans floor.” And I have lived long enough to see that people’s positions in life changes. In the news just recently we saw one who was a millionaire-billionaire one day, and in jail the next and had lost everything. Affluence today but bankrupt tomorrow. You have seen it too. So you know, things can change. They usually do. The hard times you are having today can turn around and be much better later on.

But you can take confidence and have contentment and have full assurance that Gods purpose for you and your life is unfolding according to plan and it will all work out, maybe not like we first thought or hoped it would, or imagined it might, but it will do so according to God’s will for our life. Believe me when I say, “it ain’t over till the fat lady sings.”

God bless….ric justiss

Notes from Grey's Anatomy

Practicing medicine doesn't lend itself well to the making of friends. Maybe because life and mortality are in our faces all the time. Maybe because, in staring down death every day, we're forced to know that life, every minute, is borrowed time. And each person we let ourselves care about is just one more loss somewhere down the line. For this reason, I know some doctors who just don't bother making friends at all. But the rest of us, we make it our job to move that line, to push each loss as far away as we can.

and then

It doesn't matter how tough we are. Trauma always leaves a scar. It follows us home, it changes our lives. Trauma messes everybody up. But, maybe that's the point. All the pain and the fear and the crap. maybe going through all that is what keeps us moving forward. It's what pushes us. Maybe we have to get a little messed up. Before we can step up.