Nothing is Stronger that a Bad Habit

Think for a moment... What have your bad habits cost you -- in

relationships, health, money, career and advancement?

You know the habits I'm talking about... smoking, stress eating, wasting your time, mismanaging your money, watching too much TV, working to much, not taking care of your body, cluttered spaces, losing your temper, swearing too much, procrastination, worrying all the time, plus many many more. Bad habits chip away at the life you COULD be living, right now. Habits are what tie us down - and our lifestyles are often little more than the sum total of our habits.

They hold you back from enjoying rewarding personal relationships... And they prevent you from looking and feeling GREAT. What is holding you back from being the best you can be?

How often do our lives become cluttered with unnecessary businesses, events or situations that drain us and at times overwhelm us. Has our busy lifestyle just become another bad habit? It doesn’t take long to feel cluttered and bogged down. Maybe it’s time for a little Spring cleaning.

Can you even put a PRICE on the opportunities and potential your bad habits are holding you back from -- right now?

Of course not! Because your goals and dreams are priceless!

Life is NOT a dress rehearsal -- it's a live show! You owe it to yourself to put in your best possible performance. And to do this, you need to lose the bad habits. Period.

Boot them... bust them... banish them FOREVER!

And so, I challenge you to join me in Forty days of Purpose.

I want to balance my life and focus on each area. What habits do I need to develop or enhance to become more balanced and fulfill my life purpose? In some areas, it will mean developing new habits. In some areas, in will mean being more steadfast in the habits I’m already trying to keep. Examine the areas of your life – family, school, community, work, clubs, etc., and take note of what you want to focus on. And then decide to commit to forty days of purpose to change whatever it is. Forty days. And let’s see if a forty day habit is enough to kickstart a new habit you can keep for a lifetime.

Will you join me?

The first step to changing habits is to realize that all behavior is partly unconscious and mechanical. We are creatures of habit. This is why behavior and thought patterns are not easy to change. The unconscious component can be very deep and very old. Understanding this helps you not to expect too much too fast when attempting to change habits. It is a formidable task or there would be no need for most counseling centers, recovery programs, hypno-therapists and psychiatric medications. However, habits can change.

People often talk of upgrading their computer or their house. Changing habits is about upgrading the quality of your life. Changing habits requires a focus on yourself. It is not a morbid preoccupation with the self, although it may look that way to others. It is about loving the self enough to observe, taking the time to experiment, letting go of what does not work, and having the courage to make new choices. It is all about you, not about others. Stop blaming anyone, in the present or in the past.

Changing habits requires a focus on the present and letting go of the past. Change requires letting go of people, places, activities and things that "once meant something". Sentimental and nostalgic attachments that are now meaningless just hold you back. Throw out items that remind you of a dead past.
Also stay out of the future. The future may or may not happen the way you think. It's up for grabs. Ignore the fortune tellers and prophets of doom. The world is fine and getting better all the time. What matters is whether you are getting better. It's too easy to blame the world for your habits.

The best preparation for the future is to live every moment well. Take one day at a time. If you goof up, let it go and start over tomorrow. Everyone has those days. Fortunately, the day ends and a new one begins.

Whatever you commit yourself to, you will achieve. This is an ironclad rule. Intent is everything. By keeping your intent pure and not giving up, you will eventually achieve success. This holds true in every area of life. If you do not achieve something, it just means you changed your mind at some point and stopped being committed to a particular outcome.

Likewise, just as some people become accomplished musicians by so many hours of daily practice, we can become a better person by consistently making good moral choices. And even if we lose a battle now and then, we won’t lose the war—not as long as we get right back onto that new “path” we’re trying to form.

Plenty of rest and sleep are vital for habit change of any kind. Some attempt to change their habits by distracting themselves with lots of activities. Although focusing on better things is great, it can backfire if it means ignoring the body's needs for sleep and rest. Tiredness leads to apathy, depression and despair. Fatigue is the main cause of depression today. Stimulants of all kinds become all the more attractive when you are tired and depressed.

Changing habits is one of the most worthwhile endeavors you can undertake. Upon careful examination, you will find many habits that undermine your health and happiness. Most of them are hardly conscious. Be patient and persistent, loving yourself regardless of how well you feel you are doing. Making the effort to look at your habits objectively and taking steps to change them is a cool move.

It only takes 40 days to form one new habit. Need to floss more regularly? What once was a tiresome chore will evolve into a bedtime ritual in only 40 days. Encouraged by this, you could then break the habit of eating too many sweets. Next tackle the habit of criticizing too much and for 40 days look for an opportunity to give someone a thoughtful genuine compliment each day. Soon you will have a new habit of praising your kids and husband and/or wife. The results will be astounding and astonishing.

So, how about it? Forty days of purpose anyone?. It will immediately make you feel happier and healthier. Live to be grateful. Choose to be happy. I’m betting it will make a world of difference.

Ric

The Truth Shall Set you Free

Nothing hurts as much as being lied to. Nothing.

The damage that is done in the name of "protecting" ones we love from the truth is catastrophic. If the truth is eventually exposed, we are damned by our dishonesty. If the truth remains hidden, it eats at our souls and then poisons our relationships.

Perhaps you have known someone who was very emotionally fragile, and because they were fragile, no one would risk telling them things that would make them cry. Because everyone "had to" lie to them, they came to know that they had been lied to, and they could never tell whether others were being honest. They didn't like some, because they were cruel; Someone might tell them that they were annoying, or that their new idea was not new, or even that it was stupid. But then, see, when they were told they were right, or that their idea was good, it meant something.

So now I tell the truth, and sometimes it hurts, but I think it hurts less than lies do.

What is truth? Truth is a relative term, interestingly enough. There is what seems to be objective truth, ie "the earth exists." And there are subjective truths, ie "There goes a handsome man."

There are truths that a person has a right to keep secret if he or she desires, truths that must be told for the sake of justice or to protect people, truths that should be told, but carefully, and so on.

Truth itself is merciless. True things are what they are, and if people are hurt by them, so be it. That's the way it is with truth. Truh does not care about how you feel. Truth will not be diplomatic. Truth is cruel. So what we do with truth is very important, and it is up to us. And it can be costly, even when it is good.

Perhaps that is why we are said to be "brutally" honest or honest "to a fault" And why it is the "painful" truth or the "unvarnished" truth or the "cold hard" truth and why we must "face" the truth.

I use to be a hard core truth telling person, but there were times when people I love have been hurt by my righteous idea of truth. It hurt me to see these individuals hurt because of me telling the truth. I still will tell you the truth, or at least what I believe is the truth, but I do try to not be harsh or brutal if I expect what I say will be hurtful. I try to sooth it with love and concern and a show of willingness to help or be helpful. But I know, that however painful my “telling the truth” is to someone, it is better than being lied to.

Ric

Sportsmanship

Last weekend the New England Patriots lost to the Indianapolis Colts in the NFL playoffs. Anyone who watched Bill Belichick, the coach of the Patriots, as he
was interviewed after the game saw what has become an expected posture and disposition following the game. He was mad, angry, short, and not in the mood to answer any questions. Here's a guy who won three Super Bowls in a span of four years, and is touted by some as one of the greatest coaches ever. A guy who took a team that wasn't supposed to be all that good this year and brought it to within a few minutes of yet another Super Bowl. And here he was, seemingly ready to throw up on his sweat shirt as he answered questions in a barely audible monotone. He reminded me of Parcells after every loss, and in most weekly interviews also.

Prisoners going to their execution have looked better.

And it has become expected and no longer surprising. The losing coaches and players when interviewed often are just plain ole bad sports.

Good sportsmanship occurs when teammates, opponents, coaches, and officials treat each other with respect. Kids learn the basics of sportsmanship from the adults in their lives, especially their parents and their coaches. Kids who see adults behaving in a sportsmanlike way gradually come to understand that the real winners in sports are those who know how to persevere and to behave with dignity — whether they win or lose a game.

Here are some ways that you can show others what good sportsmanship is all about:

Be polite to everyone you're playing with and against. No trash talk - which means saying mean things while you're in the middle of a game.

Don't show off. Just play your best. If you're good, people will notice.

Tell your opponents "good game!" whether you've won or you've lost. Recognize and appreciate good performances, especially by the opponent. Applause for an opponent’s good play demonstrates generosity and courtesy. It shows a true awareness of the game and athletic ability.

Learn the rules of the game. Show up for practices and games on time - even if you're the star of the team.

Listen to the coaches and follow their directions about playing.

Don't argue with an official, even if you don't agree with his or her call. Umpires are impartial and perform to the best of their abilities. Any mistakes made are part of the game and must be accepted.

Don't make up excuses or blame a teammate when you lose. Try to learn from what happened. Be positive and friendly even after losing.

Be willing to sit out so other team members can get in the game - even if you think you're a better player.

Play fair and don't cheat.

Cheer for your teammates even if the score is 1,000-1! You could inspire a big comeback

Win with class – lose with dignity.

It seems in our sports today, the concept of good sportsmanship has been lost. While winning at all costs and poor sportsmanship may be condoned and even promoted in professional sports, this does not mean it is the proper way for us normal people to behave. Whether we like it or not, sportsmanship in sports is a direct reflection of our own ethics in real life. Sportsmanship like ethics concerns both the character and the actions of an athlete. The image you project as an athlete is a product of your character. Good sportsmanship is not just what you do on the field, it is hopefully the way you conduct your life both on and off the field. In the same way, unsportsmanlike behaviour on the field is probably an indication of your off the field conduct. When I see someone displaying bad sportsmanship, I get a real clear picture of the way they act in their business dealings, their treatment of their family and others.

We can sit back and blame television and pro sports for the decline in sportsmanship but we can also take the responsibility of bringing it back into our own contests and games. It is time for all of us involved in sports of one kind or another to practice good sportsmanship. This is especially important if we are involved with children either as a parent or coach.


"For when the One Great Scorer comes to mark against your name, He writes not that you won or lost - but how you played the game." (Grantland
Rice)

Take care...Ric