Friday, May 16, 2014

I'm Sorry

“I’m sorry.”  Some people won’t say it. When your actions cause someone harm, distress or significant inconvenience the right thing to do is to offer a sincere apology when you are made aware of the harm, distress or inconvenience you have caused. 

The experts now know the people with low self-esteem are less likely to apologize.  They usually feel bad, sometimes having inner feeling of humiliation,  about what they have done, furthering the feelings of low self-esteem.  But we also now know that the egocentric, the one with the overly grand view of himself or herself, also almost never offers an apology. 

People who are sure of themselves have the capacity to confess to their wrongdoing and properly address it.  Just the right amount of self-esteem is key. 

For these two groups,  saying I’m sorry equals acceptance of responsibility and expressions of genuine remorse. Here is the rub – apologizing is seen as a sign of weakness. Admitting to being wrong, as difficult as it is,  is the road to dissolving hostility, encouraging forgiveness and mending damaged relationships. It is also a road rarely traveled today.  Instead, relationships end and these people go on their way in life, alone. 

The movie got it wrong.  Love doesn’t mean never having to say you’re sorry.  Love means being able to say you’re sorry. 

What I see are some people who do not love, or love enough, to say I’m sorry, and try to make things right.  So sad.