Tuesday, June 23, 2009

It Is So Hot!!

It is so Hot…
...the birds had to pick up the worms with potholders.
...I saw a dog chasing a cat and they were both walkin'
...Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard boiled eggs.
...I saw two trees fighting over a dog.
...It is as Hot as love in August
...It's hotter than a firecracker lit at both ends

It is so Hot...
...that we didn’t buy ice cream at the store, we just drank it.
...the French Poodle across the street is now a French Fry
...my potatoes baked while still in the garden.
...the cows are giving evaporated milk.
...I wore my wrinkled clothes outside, and got them steam pressed
...it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.
...hot water now comes out of both taps.
...my Right Guard left!
...that even Rednecks won’t go fishin’ !
...that the birds are flying South for the summer!
...my ice cubes have a heat rash!
...Who, in HELL left the door open?

It is so hot...
...men think they’re having hot flashes.

Ya’ll be cool…….Ric

Jon and Kate Plus Eight

Jon and Kate reportedly filed for divorce yesterday.

Their show has been a smash hit. We all watched in awe as they showed us how it could done, raising 8 little kids. Parents everywhere just get tired thinking about having 8 of them. Lunch time, play time, bath time, just every activity, how could you ever keep up? Feedings, diapers, crying kids...there would be no end and no rest. We have been captivated by them.

Now we see and learn that they forgot to leave time for themselves. They were consumed by the kids. Consumed by the stardom and attention. They forgot to be attentive to each other. They neglected the most important ingredient in any home. Every home should be built on the foundation of God's word, a home built upon faith and truth and love. Every home should be a place of harmony. This they neglected.

Today's world can be taxing, and in order for a marriage to be the source of strength and renewal that it should be, there is a responsibility that we each have to nurture its source. A couple should view their home as their sanctuary and a source of nourishment for their relationship. Their home should be seen as holy, and choices made carefully as to what is brought in and decidedly left out. A happy home is ruled by kindness, honesty, mutual respect, a desire for one another's happiness, and a reverence for the sacred space that is yours on both a physical and spiritual level. It should be free from judgment, allowing mistakes that humans make, and thought of as a safe harbor, deep enough to weather any storm.

The commitment of a marriage is not only a commitment to stay together, but that you will both work together to ensure that you will live in a home, warm and glowing with love and memories, and not just a house; a home physically strong to protect and provide shelter, but also filled with a loving family who come and go from their interactions with the world.

Bringing the world into their home didn't work. It made them rich, but not happy.

Estimates are they are bringing in around 3 million a year. They get $75,000 per episode, 30 per year. They get church "love offerings." Book sales. Book signings. Speeches and appearances. Tons of free stuff on top of that.

Financially they are good. Emotionally they are bankrupt.

I like them. They seem to be good people. I wish they could of seen this coming. It all just makes me very sad, for them and for their family. This sort of thing always does.

Wishing you the best....Ric

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

The things we parents have to watch out for.

Note sent the next school day with 1st grader...

Dear Ms Davis, That is not a dance pole on stage in a strip joint! ...I work at Home Depot, ...that's me selling a shovel. Mrs. Smith

you gotta love it...Ric

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

A Little Misunderstanding

A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.'

'Me neither Doc,' said the husband. 'But she's a great cook and is really good with the kids.'

Patriotic Retirement Plan

Dear Mr. President,
Please find below my suggestion for fixing America's economy. Instead of giving billions of dollars to companies that will squander the money onlavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan. You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

There are about 40 million people over 50 in the work force. - Pay them $1 million apiece severance for early retirement with the followingstipulations:
1) They MUST retire. Forty million job opening s - Unemployment fixed.
2) They MUST buy a new American CAR. Forty million cars ordered - AutoIndustry fixed.
3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed.

It can't get any easier than that!P.S. If more money is needed, have all members in Congress and theirconstituents pay their taxes..

Do people actually live like this?

Painted Bathroom Floor

IMAGINE YOU ARE AT A PARTY ... Tenth floor of a hi-rise building.....

reno 911 season 5 clip - The Lottery Misprint


When Grandma Goes to Court

Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?'

She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'

She again replied, ' Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'
Have a good day...Ric