I Want to Hold Your Hand

Why do couples continue to hold hands, even after many years of being together? In a word - Connection! In a better word - Love! Holding hands has long been thought of as a first romantic step between a couple. And it may be. But it is also the last step for the old-timers. On their last day, you will find them still, till the end, holding hands.

To hold someone’s hand is to offer them affection, protection and comfort. It is a way to communicate and tell them silently “I am here, with you.” Usually it suggests something innocuous and sweet about a couple and their relationship. In some instances, it takes on added potency being an act of respect, like a handshake.

But, over all, few things are more innocent than a child grabbing the hand of a parent, for protection, direction and connection. And with many children these days closer and more outwardly affectionate to their parents, chances are you have spotted a mother and her teenage daughter and perhaps even a father and his adolescent son ambling through a mall, scurrying through a crosswalk or strolling along, hand in hand.

Likely, it was your mother or father who first held your hand when you began taking baby steps. Having a parent hold your hand while you were out in the world made you feel safe, protected from any harm. Later, hand-holding was likely done in friendship with your friends or family. Hand-holding during the dating scene was a whole new experience that made your heart skip a beat or two. Holding hands is definitely a heart-connected activity! Adult children and their elderly parents also hold hands, for balance, support and as a sign of love.

As for romantic couples, the opinions about hand-holding are as varied as fingerprints. But most people agree that it has not lost favor. If they do hold hands, it is likely only after they are deep into a relationship — not in those early days of budding romance, when a touch of hands was the first act of intimacy between a couple. That was the hand-holding that the Beatles wrote about.
Today, holding hands has become more significant than other seemingly deeper expressions of love and romance. Reaching for someone’s hand these days has more potential for rejection than leaning in for a smooch at a party where alcohol is flowing.

Whatever degree of hand-holding may be happening, there are good reasons to cultivate the habit. When we get more physical intimacy we get better relationships, whether a mother and an infant or a couple. Studies have shown that monkeys hold hands in reconciliation after a fight. We have learned that hand-holding relaxes the body. Put someone in a M.R.I machine, or other stressful situations, where they might at first be tense and afraid, and they will relax and start to feel more secure if allowed to hold their spouses hand.

Perhaps it is why so many people crave it. Holding hands remains a sign of intimacy between friends and lovers, couples and family, keeping two people together as they navigate the world around them. It as powerful a gesture today as it ever has been.

Holding hands strengthens your marriage relationship, creating a comforting and calming atmosphere in your home. It builds more trust between the two of you, and deepens your intimacy with one another. Holding hands is like a hug, sometimes friendly and some times loving.

Personally, I hope it never goes out of style! When was it the last time you held your dear ones hands and said silently “I care for you, and I am here for you no matter what?”

Have a good one…Ric