Respect for Your Elders

For as long as I can remember and before that for as much of history as I am aware of, old age has most often been equated with esteem, honor, and integrity.  Until now.

Old is out. We are thought of as useless. If we don’t have something to give them, like money or stuff - and if we don’t have something they can take from us, to the youth of today, we are useless.

I remember a time when showing kindness and courtesy to the previous generation was commonplace and expected. Even if there was a great divide between our interests and theirs, practicing proper manners was what we did. Practicing good manners was reflective of a good upbringing and was a badge of honor we wore proudly.  

What kind of manners did we practice? 1) Not speaking unless spoken to. -2) showing regard for the elderly in offering them a seat, bringing them things, anything really that could be seen as needed and helpful to them at the time. -3) offering them something to eat or drink. -4) always asking permission before using someone’s property – it was considered rude and inconsiderate to help yourself freely to anything that does not belong to you. -5) I remember being taught to not speak out of turn and to hold my tongue, at the risk of saying something stupid or hurtful. -6) I remember always saying “thank you” “please” "yes sir" "no sir" and so on. This was a great part of being polite and we were taught how this sort of thing helped to create warmth and compassion. -7) We would never address a person older than us with anything other than Mr. or Mrs., using their last name, Uncle or Aunt, that sort of thing.

The way you choose to present yourself to the world is a personal choice. Being a genuinely respectful person is a sure fire way to feel good about yourself. But the way you behave, the manners you practice or don’t practice, is a personal choice.

And you know, your reputation matters. People are watching you and wouldn’t your prefer to be known as the nice respectful person? Treating the elderly with the utmost respect will leave a memorable impression on them of you, and a memorable impression on those watching your behavior.

If nothing else, being a respectful person allows you to feel a sense of accomplishment that comes with knowing you did the right thing. And, being respectful, just makes the object of your respect feel good, feel important and valuable. It shows that person that you think they are important. And who knows the karma effect this can have.

I don’t get it really. I see so many young adults today who don’t seem to be able to show respect for anybody or anything and that is just sad. I realize now that some people are just no good and would like to use you or see you hurt. I realize that some people will dislike you for no particular reason at all. No amount of kindness will change their minds. I try to be kind to everyone, but that does not mean I can give what I don’t have or make undue personal sacrifices.

I have to ask myself, does this person respect me? When is enough, enough? Eventually what is comes down to is self-respect. You have to have self-respect. If someone disrespects you, let them know. Give them a chance to apologize. They will make things right if they want to. If they don’t then cut them out of your life. After a while you will no longer have to tell people to fuck off, because you will be surrounded only by people who don’t treat you like a doormat. You will be surrounded by happy, healthy, friendly people who know how to treat you with the respect you deserve.